I Saw It On Netflix: Coldblooded


Jason Priestly stars as Cosmo Reif, a low level mob employee who takes phone bets at a bookie joint. He is affect-less, much like the kind of person we all encounter everyday at the other side of retail counters, like at  Target’s or any of the ubiquitous fast food chains. He is dead inside and so is the world around him. He lives in the basement of a retirement home. He has a regular appointment with Honey (Janeane Garofalo), a hooker but even this doesn’t put a smile on his face. He is too preoccupied to go through with it. Preoccupied with what, you might wonder. After all, he is affect-less.

To his surprise, and mine, he is snatched from his low level post and promoted to hit-man in training by Gordon, the mob boss, played here by the perennial mob boss, Robert Loggia. He is turned over to the mob’s number one hit-man, Steve  (Peter Riegert) for training. It is soon obvious he is even better than his trainer: He is not just affect-less he is Coldblooded.

I admit that, without emotional resonance, it’s hard to tell if he’s going to kill someone or not. You come to expect that anyone in the same room with him is doomed. This gives a certain gravity to the scenes. Michael J. Fox guest stars. Is there anyone who could possibly shoot Michael J. Fox (here at his most adorable since childhood) in the face?

Enter love in the personage of a Yoga instructor named Jasmine (Kimberly Williams) to complicate Cosmo’s life. There once was a television show called The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet. As the announcer would say: The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet. The part of Ozzie is played by Ozzie Nelson. The part of Harriet is played by Harriet Nelson. And their two sons, David, who plays the part of David Nelson and Ricky Nelson who plays the part of the irrepressible Ricky. No kidding. This movie could have been called The Adventures of Ozzie Nelson Before His Salvation at the Hands of Harriet Nelson. Ozzie never had much affect, a bit of a smile now and then. What was he like when he was single? Well, maybe he was like Cosmo Reif, who just needed the love of a good woman to set him straight.

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